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I feel like it took me so long to get here. A place maybe I have never really truly seen. Maybe those other times where just lessons to learn, experiences I needed to have. I am so scared sometimes that I think of everything bad that could happen and play it out in my head, trying to think of ways to prepare for the worst. And then I stop.
I prayed I would found a connection and I have that’s a beautiful thing. I know sometimes I’m cold and hard to read, sometimes I seem so distant and uninterested, Sometimes I can be so mean and irrational. Sometimes my thoughts are all over the place and so am I. And sometimes I know that I pull away and I feel myself doing it.
I know sometimes I confuse you, and I’m sorry.
Truth is when I close my eyes I see you. And my God is feels so right I can’t explain it….it just does.
I want this to work.
Maybe just have to ride these waves for now and move past this phase.