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I open my mouth and the venom pours out. The anger, the pain in my words, the emotion in my voice it cuts deep looking to draw fresh blood. RED. Still mad, still so mad. I cry to release some PAIN. Some relief. A different guy a different night. Empty so Empty. Blank. Cold. Numb. Dark. Sad. Hollow. Meaningless. Not Good, Not Good. Nothing I feel Nothing…Lifeless. Swollen my tear ducks are swollen.
Out of control, out at loud places how do you get to know someone when they are drunk and you are too.? I feel out of control. I’m not searching for a one night stands. It’s not something that is fulfilling to me, or feels good emotionally, and sexually. Searching for more. Human touch is nice. After a long long week of work so is a couple drinks. I am only human.
Someone that can fall in love with my imperfections is what I am looking for. Someone who will love me even though I am awful at spelling, someone that will love me even though I have an irrational fear of mice and insects… will love the silly songs I sing about things. I want someone that doesn’t want to stick there hands down my pants as soon as I met them because they have more respect for me.
The beauty will fade and ours body will age, at the end of it all there will only be the bonds that you create with the people around you. Being alone isn’t all that fun all the time.
27 is out of control so far it’s fucking out of control.
In search ❤
Learning to love starting to crawl