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I can not afford to buy paper towels anymore, I just can not do it, and it was between toilet paper and paper towels so the paper towels had to go. So now when I go to different stores I take some napkins.
I am so broke… really. At least once a month I go into complete panic mode about where I am going to get the money to pay my rent, bills .. etc. I try to think of things I could sell to make some quick cash like my TV… I don’t have cable what do I need a TV for. Or my dog, my ovaries. I’ll sell anything sometimes just to get some cash. My friends and people I talk to everyday might just think I’m insane because like clock work once a month I have a complete mental breakdown about money.
Some people advise me to find a nice rich guy to take care of me. PUKE in my mouth! That’s not a fucking solution in my book. I wanna take care of myself number one, and number two just fucking NO!
I do often think about selling my soul to the devil and taking my clothes off for money. Sometimes I wonder will it every get easier. Then my eyes fill up with lots of water as the stress ball moves down to my chest. My solution to my problem has not worked yet as I struggle to maintain, I often feel like I am on the vege of drowning.
I often daydream about a day when the cream rises to the top. When all the stress and struggle will pay off. I have hope somewhere inside but not today.
I have to make it, I have no other choice in my book, but when will I catch a break.
A napkin here or there helps..